Why I’m on the Side of Your Relationship: A Couples Therapist’s Perspective

My work is about getting you back on the same team again. Couples often tell me they can’t keep going the way things are — the tension, the misunderstandings, the feeling of being on opposite sides. And if you’ve ever found yourself Googling “how to fix my relationship” at 11 p.m., you know how lonely and confusing it can feel. Things get lost in translation, and you’re left wondering, How did that attempt at connecting go so wrong?

I’ve been an advocate for relationships long before I was a therapist. Before I had a license on the wall, friends would come to me for advice or perspective. They’d tell me I had a way of looking at a situation with both clarity and compassion — the kind that makes you feel seen, but also ndges you to take responsibility for your part.

Why I Love Couples & Family Work

Relationships are rarely one‑sided. I love the challenge and richness of hearing all sides of the story. In couples therapy, I often tell my clients:

“I’m on the side of the relationship”

That means my goal isn’t to “pick a winner” in an argument — it’s to help the relationship itself thrive. Sometimes that requires taking sides in a moment, not to shame or blame, but to help each partner see what’s getting in the way of connection.

One of the most common challenges couples bring to me is communication — whether it’s something said the wrong way, not said at all, or completely misunderstood. We each carry our own stories, shaped by past experiences, trauma, or family patterns. Without realizing it, those old scripts can quietly erode the relationship you’re trying to protect.

In our work together, I help you understand how those lived experiences are showing up in your current relationship. When couples see the connection between their history and their present patterns, a light bulb goes off. In couples therapy, we can identify the cycle that’s no longer serving you and replace it with strategies that honor both partners’ needs, create emotional safety, and rebuild intimacy.

From Surviving to Thriving- What does that look like?

Too many couples come to therapy feeling like they’re just getting by… managing schedules, avoiding conflict or each other … hoping things will get better on their own. My role is to help you move from survival mode into a relationship that feels intentional and connected.

That might mean:

• Learning to communicate in ways that actually land — so you can talk about the dishes without it turning into a three‑day (or month) standoff.

• Rebuilding trust after it’s been shaken — whether it’s a broken promise, a financial secret, or an infidelity, you create new agreements that actually stick.

• Finding joy and playfulness again — laughing over morning coffee, planning spontaneous date nights, or sending silly texts because the tension has lifted.

• Navigating differences without losing respect — disagreeing about parenting, money, or holidays and still walking away feeling heard and on the same team.

What to expect in couples therapy

If we work together, you can expect a space where you’ll feel heard, challenged, and supported — sometimes all in the same session. I’ll bring the same mix of warmth and directness that’s been part of me since before I ever called myself a therapist.

Because at the end of the day, I’m not just here to help you stay together. I’m here to help you build something worth staying for.

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Ready to stop just surviving and start thriving in your relationship?

Whether you’re navigating a rough patch, feeling disconnected, or simply want to strengthen your bond, I’m here to help you see the full picture. Let’s get your relationship back to a place where it feels good to come home.

If you are seeking a couples therapist in California, book your consultation and let’s get started.

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